I feel deep green today. I never thought green was the correct color to be associated with envy. Envy feels yellow to me, sickening. 

And to think you made me exude that color, even once. I feel much less angry now. Last month I spent preparing for spontaneous combustion. It is spontaneous. 

How could I even begin to prepare for something like that? 

That got me thinking that there is hardly a thing someone could have shared with me in my adolescence that would've prepared me for all of this. You are supposed to have life happen to you, regardless.

I went to an adult party. I never feel like the youngest there. 

Green feels dazed and illusionary to me. Never envy. 

The shower floor is like a mother's womb. 

There I lay, back in the cycle.