in life there is no winning, only being. only breathing. only noticing and pushing forward. 

my shoulders bruised from the sheer heaviness of this era, and it appears true 

True that I have carried this all and chosen to do so.

There is no 'sharing the load' in my mind, for reasons unknown.

I no longer yearn for what everybody else has. It could be a sign that I am coming into my own. Let it be a sign, God. Say it out loud. You are feeling the ebbs and flows with an even mightier tide now. It is like that song you used to sing, making your bed up all pearled and tidy, those summer dawns. 

Gotta pay some agony if we wanna have ecstasy