Optimism is adjacent to blindness. How funny that I very clearly witness this hopeful delirium in others and yet so seldom in my own psyche. The only thing that matters (aside from eating a nice piece of fruit) is seeing things for what they are. My delusions are familiar and occasionally I think, 'maybe I could stay here'. 

I've been such an angry woman. Maybe you'd like me more if I still felt that way. If the stick remained wedged and awake. I don't feel anger in the same way. She's so fleeting sometimes it's like she never even visits. I want to be some person with a problem. No I don't.