I know how to love like I know the hands on the edges of my arms. Like I know jam and butter and how much they love each other. I know how to love like I know breathlessness after a deep dive into the ocean. Surfacing through burning salt. Every molecule of water wrapping around me. Cells in love. Atoms enamored. Is science loving?
Do you find that you tend to hold back your love? Or worry that you'll drown someone if you were show it like it really is? Do you have fantasies of being stoic and removed so that people could see you as less tender? Tenderness is both the answer to everything and a navigation toward destruction in false hands. Don't be a false prophet to me. I'm looking for answers here.
The train blares in the distance. I can hear it from my apartment. I'm imagining that it's screaming for me. only me.
I've been thinking about a lyric,
Do you think that because I sing that I have a light heart?
I'm loving like this not because it's what I'm used to but because it is what I have always ached for.
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