Make Bets

today i felt so real. my week has been lopsided. sketch for summer by the durutti column is playing. i am miles away. possibilities unimaginable seem tangible. there may have been something falling down from the clouds today. some feeling of truth and wonder. i met this girl today. her name was zoey. she was wearing this turquoise ring and her hair was poked in every direction. first, i noticed her sweet ride; had a great feeling soon after. she told me her plans for the day: a trip up the coast. i wished her and her friends, who would be accompanying her, the safest travels. she asked my name and wished me a beautiful life. i gave her the prayer mudra. we parted. i thought of her the remainder of the day. these microscopic gifts exist every day. god, they are directly in front of me. they aren't always blatant and mystical like zoey but that doesn't mean they don't exist. tuning in more. attempting to. keep secrets. read the paper. smoke a cigar every few years, only alongside an older man. find your viewpoints, solidify them. look yourself in the eyes when in the mirror. smile to your reflection. believe in absurdism. believe in yourself. now THAT is absurd! always give the kids outside the grocery store some cash. do take walks when it doesn't make sense. take time getting out of bed in the morning. watch your coffee brew. you can eat in silence. drop out. perfect the adequate grip of a handshake. sing mantras to yourself in the shower. buy huge bars of soap. eat dark chocolate. remind everyone that they are special in some way. never let the people in your life forget that you love that they are there. don't assume everyone will stay. life is hard work. find the pleasure in the cracks of it. admire animals, especially swans. make bets. believe you will win. really fully listen when people are telling you a story. ask questions after. do all that you can to love who you are. an apple seed should accept it will be an apple tree. it knows there is no point in wanting to be a grape vine. take time. spend it. be in it. exist outside of it. feel no shame. delete desires.