Do I still linger here?

my womanhood has been a series of industrial-strength growing pains and embarrassingly loud imprudence. not to mention: the ever-present, always multiplying love only I have come to know. love varies for everyone. i think myself layered when we come to this subject. none would go as far to say that i am complicated in love. i love everything. i love three a.m. like i love jam and white bread. i love shoes on my feet like i love my feet shoeless. i love women like i love silk curtains. i love the ocean and mountains just the same. i have love and i've got goodness. a reminder to myself is necessary, at times.

when this song plays, i know exactly who i am. i know the effect i've got on everything in a twenty-four mile radius. i'm in the city. i'm in the city. i hate capitalizing my sentences so i don't. lately, i have noticed that i relate nearly anything i can to the cosmic order of the universe. the steps appear sorted out in front of my eyes. if i leave this stone here on the ground, and if i kiss it and whisper the utmost blessings upon whomsoever happens to find it, if and when the stone is stumbled upon, without whomsoever being aware of the blessings bestowed upon said stone, they will be blessed. it is my cosmic will. the will that i leave behind. my greatest wish is that my existence is perfumed and that it may permeate everything it touches. i've got to leave the scent of love to just dowse this place. my cosmic footprint. my eternal grass in the sunshine. the weeds grow like crazy. love is untamed and it is something i want to instill into myself. that notion of boundlessness. 

i like sleeping alone in my big bed at night. i like waking up alone. i like taking walks by myself, especially on the edge of the sea. i like eating alone. i used to always eat alone. every morning. my entire first year of college. each day, rise early, bring your music, sit alone, have your ritual. there is a chance i was able to face that incredibly fogged era in my life because i at least had a breakfast to myself every morning.