Retired

There are times when I have to steadily, and like an ambivalent mother, walk myself home to the fact that I am a good person. At my core, I believe I am. I falter like everyone, and follies have paved my way here but deep down, I know I have bright eyes for life. I know how to dance to whatever happens to play. If only I could be more decisive. I want to scream at my own face in the mirror when I find it impossible to have a stance on where we go to eat shitty food tonight. That is really what just irks me about myself. It isn't like I don't hold any preferences. I have preferences, a surplus, at times. I just need everyone's desires to be met. At the cost of my own? 

Spring will say hello in the following weeks. I'll go see one of my favorite bands play. 

Normally I am very careful with my money but lately I just want to experience things. 

I am certainly not getting younger. Been feeling like such a retired lady. I should only ever retire to meditate and even then, I see myself older at that point. 

My room is smoking, and I wonder, how much longer will this be my room?

I want to leave this town, but I don't.

Truthfully, this is not a place I loathe like everyone else does. 

It is small and it is simple. It has every necessity. It has provided me with sunsets God cries over.

What if I did hard drugs

I just want to be the lead singer in a band